I’m a late bloomer on coffee. But now I’m a fiend who makes special trips around the city to score the good stuff. This morning, I had a funny coffee ad idea as I left Philz on Van Ness and Eddy—a gentrifying but spotty area in San Francisco. The ad would go something like this…
It’s dawn. The only people out are world beaters gearing up and tweakers coming down. Strung out dude speed-walks toward me. Sticks me up.
Meth Fiend: Gimme your money … and that … and that [points knife to coffee and breakfast burrito]
Coffee Fiend: OK. It’s cool, it’s cool [digs in pocket, hands over money]
Meth Fiend: Now those, come on come on [jabs knife toward food/coffee]
Coffee Fiend: [Unblinkingly hands over burrito]
[Standoff. They stare at each other. Closeup on knife, then coffee, then yuppie car. Coffee Fiend eyes dart from Meth Fiend to coffee to car. Coffee Fiend clutches cup tighter.]
Meth Fiend: I don’t got all day [knife creeps closer]
[Coffee Fiend hands over keys. Cut to car driving away. Coffee Fiend watches blankly. Sips coffee. Smiles huge, stares at coffee cup, not a care in the world.]
Then some tagline like: Yea, it’s that good.
Ad pros may advise against this concept for big coffee companies. But it would play for a cult coffee outfit. So to my hometown favorites Philz and Blue Bottle: if you want to do this thing on a budget, I’ll play the Coffee Fiend and we can use my car in the shoot. Naturally, I’d only ask that you compensate me in free coffee.