Chickpea pasta? Maybe. Chickpea coffee? Hell no.

Christopher Mims at WSJ has tasted new synthetic coffees, and claims only the most highbrow baristas could discern them from real blends. I’m with the baristas here. Coffee made from chickpeas and date pits sounds awful.

I say that as someone who eats chickpea pasta. But coffee is my main vice and I prefer to mainline it pure from its original source — not a lab.

Christopher’s piece is worth reading because coffee does indeed ravage the environment.

Plus we better get used to this fake coffee idea.

He reports that “at least half a dozen” companies like Voyage Foods, Minus Coffee, Atomo, Prefer, Stem, and Northern Wonder are formulating or already selling “beanless coffee alternatives.”

Not all formulas sound as gross as chickpea coffee or date pit coffee.

Some of these companies are using lab-grown cells from actual coffee plants. Hence the inspiration for the artwork above which, naturally, was formulated in an AI lab. 😊 ☕️

And speaking of AI and coffee labs, Starbucks robot baristas are coming in hot with custom drinks.