How we all quietly quit caring at work. And what all the new 'Quiet' lies really mean, LOL

I already noted this month how Loud Job Titles are being added to Quiet Quitting. Puke. But it gets even more nauseating.

Now employers are quiet hiring and quiet firing while employees are not just quiet quitting, but quiet thriving?? Wait, what?!

I have another word for “quiet” workplace stuff: Lies.

So let’s have some fun with the lies we’re all telling each other at work. Below is what employers and employees are really thinking with all of today’s “Quiet” trends.

QUIET HIRING

We don’t really want the bad publicity from layoffs, and the talent out there is sh!t and/or will just quiet quit short-term, so if you still need this paycheck and job, here’s a new career path – figure it out. Don’t like it? See “quiet thriving.”

QUIET QUITTING

Oh, so you want me to do the work of 2 employees but with the same title and pay?? Guess you get what you pay for. Don’t like it? Fire me. Otherwise you’ll catch me chit chatting about my Netflix picks in the hallways or zoom calls. Or here’s a novel idea – engage with me to find out how I feel about working here, and then maybe I’ll stop doing the minimum.

QUIET FIRING

There are too many hard conversations to have with you right now. And frankly, I don’t have answers or energy. So, if I neglect you and make your work existence as miserable as possible, maybe you’ll just leave. Win-win.

QUIET THRIVING

You’re not going to challenge me or help me set/achieve/celebrate my work goals? I’ll just do it all myself like the psychotherapist who coined the phrase told us to do — but hell if I’m going to give you the credit for it (or take the bait as you try to quiet fire me). Super healthy for mental health, right?

And on a more serious note, these quiet quitting and other ‘quiet’ lies are in fact a real trend. So for some additional insight, check out the links below … while balancing a pencil on your lip.